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ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via defendthyfandom)

fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

I just wanna have abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks

(via orgasm)

lamapalooza:

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

(via orgasm)

breadsigh:

please friendzone me. I want to be your friend so badly

(Source: grandmabread, via orgasm)

bl-ossomed:

i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry

(via perks-of-being-chinese)